Freedom

When I painted this I knew it represented freedom but this morning as I was thinking of what to write I felt like I needed to look in my notes for what I have already written on freedom.

What I found is exactly what I need and hopefully God will use it to help you as well. God bless you 🌸

Until Everlasting

How many times do I fall a day?

5 times, 20?

How many times do You forgive me?

I can't count how many times, there's no possible way,

You tell me to forgive 7x70,

But that's hard, when the person I need to forgive ... is me,

I keep my faults deep within, locked in a jar,

Im not sure why, but I know that letting go is hard,

Each and every secret creates a deeper and deeper scar,

Why?

Trying to let go on my own is like hitting my head on a wall,

Remembering those faults,

It takes me nowhere, but brings me to a halt,

I cry, "water, I need water!" but the well is completely dry,

So I stand here, empty, broken, and weak,

I lift my hands high,

JESUS!!

Not a second breath and the ground begins to shake,

Then...

I lose my balance and fall to my knees,

I look down and see a key,

Engraved on it was, "John 4:13-14"

So through the shaking, as I'm on my knees,

I cry out, "Lord what does this mean?"

Then, through all the chaos and noise around me,

I heard, with a whisper, someone say,

"Here is my word, go and read"

I looked and there was Jesus holding out a Bible,

So I received,

I found the scripture from the key,

This is what it said,

"Jesus answered and said to her, Whoever drinks of this water shall thirst again: 

But whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life."

I looked up to see Jesus and He was gone...

So, with the ground still shaking, I stood up, 

When I did I found myself able to stand tall, and strong,

I asked the Lord for rain,

Rain, to wash the dirt away,

Rain, to make the dry places live again,

And rain to fill me to overflowing...

So He did,

I watched as each drop fell to meet my face, my hands, and my feet, 

but it turned into a storm,  

The rain mixed with lightning and thundering,

It didn't stop until I was floating,

I took a deep breath...

I felt my heartbeat,

I felt that He was inside of me

"Yes, Lord" I said,

I can't explain why,

Except that every breath,

Every beat,

 Was Jesus reminding me,

That it's because of Him that I have life,

The scripture I just read,

It came to life,

So where is your sting oh death?

Oh you depression, why are you hiding?

Come out to face the One Who has the victory with in me,

Jesus, Lord of lords, King of kings,

For now it is not I who lives, but it is He,

He Who calmed the storm within me,

He Who, over you has the victory,

Where is your boldness?

Are you sleeping?

Come meet Your King!

Come out in Jesus name!

Then, for 2 minutes, I said nothing, but screemed!

I was free!

Free of depression and anxiety,

Free from death inside of me!

I felt clean...

And completely empty,

So with a clean open heart, I cried out,

"Lord come fill me!"

Through all the wind and thunder,

Through the crashing water, 

I hear a whisper,

"Open your eyes,"

Silence...

I then realized that it was a vision,

All of that was happening inside,

Again, the whisper I heard said,

"I have left you a letter,"

I looked and saw a white paper,

Words were on it written with gold,

It said,

"My Daughter,

I have filled you with living water,

My water is life, and freedom,

My water cleanses and refreshes,

My life is a fountain that does not run dry,

So come and drink,

Here you will find rest for everlasting,

Call out to Me,

I will lead you to still waters,

and to pastures of green,

I will set up our table infront of your enemy,

I want you to trust in Me,

I know you, even from before time,

You were knit together by Me in your mothers womb,

And now I want you to see,

That I want you to know Me,

So come and dine,

I will show you things, and help you see My desire,

Come sit in peaceful silence,

I will show you My armor, 

And show you how its to be used

I will feed you with My fruit,

And teach you how to share them with others,

I will teach you all things, 

And comfort you when things seem to get out of your hand,

Come and dine,

You will be Mine, 

I will be yours,

You will have life with Me,

Until eternity!

Sincerely with Love, 

God,"

Selah...

New Beginnings

Ever since I was little, I have had this gift to do art. I never understood why God had given it to me, but all through my life, art has been a part of me. I remember people telling me that I had a natural talent, and I still hear that. Honestly, though, I have never felt that way. All the art I make that is actually good, I know comes from God giving me the ability to do it. (Galatians 2:20 came to my mind as I'm writing this.) If I'm not doing it for God, or if I'm not inspired, I'm really not good at all. The enemy used that against me, though, and told me lies about how I'm no good and that I should give up art completely. I began to believe the lies, and I had gone a long time without doing hardly any art. I actually started to go back to just coloring kids' pages and calling it “art practice.” But God had a different plan—He was NOT giving up on me. On 9-8-24, which was a Sunday, God spoke over me that it was time to take a step of faith and walk on the waters with Him, and to not focus on what is going on around me, but to keep my eyes on Him. After He spoke that over me, He gave me a vision, a dream, and a PURPOSE for my art. God began downloading a plan He had in store for me, and art was very much a part of His plan for my life! He showed me very clearly what He wanted me to do, and every step I needed to take was precise. Every word I heard took my breath away, and a passion for art came back to my heart. So here is my very first step to walking out His purpose for me! It's exciting, and I am so ready for this new journey and new beginning with my Abba!

From Fear to Freedom

Before I began painting this piece, I anticipated that it wouldn't turn out as I wanted and that I wouldn't like it. I thought about what I would say to turn my mess into a lesson on how, even though things don’t always go as planned, we shouldn’t give up but keep trying and not be afraid to show our failures because we learn and grow from them.

That sounds like a great lesson and it's inspiring too! God had other plans, though. In this small painting, I tried two things that I had never been able to do successfully: #1, the wreath, and #2, writing words with a brush! It's not perfect, but it's beautiful, and I love it! I was actually shocked that I didn’t completely mess it up. The most important thing was that I noticed I was able to relax and just paint. The usual feeling of anxiety wasn’t there, and, even though I expected to get it wrong or mess up in the beginning, I, somehow, felt like I was painting with the freedom to just paint instead of performing to get it perfect. I haven't felt that freedom in art for a long time and its a breath of good, fresh, cleansing air! God showed me an important lesson in this process. The lesson was that trying something new doesn’t have to be stressful, and I can be free from the expectations of how it’s going to turn out. He showed me that I can take off the cloak of fear and just take that first step of faith and TRY and to enjoy the process of learning no matter how it turns out. He showed me that I can trust and expect Him to help me, and that if I mess up... that’s just it... I mess up, and that I get to get up and try again or try something else. I also learned that life doesn’t always need to be so complicated and that I NEED to stop and take in the breath of God's peace when it is.

God, thank You for Your beauty and the creativity that You have given me. Thank You for the lesson You showed me as I painted this and as I was writing this all out. I pray that You will bless others through this and use it to give You glory. In Your Jesus' name, amen. 🩷